No plans for Saturday night?

Whether you're a permanent resident in Helsinki or just visiting, and are into listening to some klezmer music, I suggest you check out a cafe called Bulevardin Kahvisalonki.

In addition to serving delicious coffees and baked goods, approximately once a month on a Saturday evening, a very laid-back jamming session by a versatile variety of musicians is put together in this cafe. Feel free to sing along (if you know Yiddish or Hebrew:) or tap away to the beat with your feet. The atmosphere is relaxed and funky! Be sure to come a bit early, as the tables are bound to be occupied quite quick.

Next time I need to bring some friends to get acquainted with this folk music, as it really is a treat for us Finns to be served this kind of entertainment. There's no entrance fee nor tickets, so you can easily attend for the sheer pleasure of it. And thanks for a certain someone blog reader for tipping me off for this klezmer jamming session. You were great! :)

In order to avoid any copy-right issues, I'm posting a clip from YouYube, recoded at the same cafe a few years back.

PS. The Helsinki Klezmer Festival for 2013 is coming up! Check out the details here.

The 100th post

It's official, I have found stuff worth of 100 blog posts to babble about. Go figure! This all really started one evening last year. My brain was going overload, projecting texts and thoughts that built up in my silly little head after meeting my bf, reading books, visits to the Holy Land... Fingertips on fire, I suddenly realized I had written 10 texts on Israel and Judaism, in a mere couple of hours. Where to put all that? Make it public? Does anyone want to read these? Well, what the heck, let's give it a shot.

www.bubblews.com

The blog has by now gone beyond these original 10 texts. New ideas and topics have popped up along the way. The only place I have advertized this blog is on Finnish "Blogilista", which is a never-ending website listing hundreds and hundreds of blogs. Some of you, especially Finnish readers, probably found your way here through there.

The rest of the readers of this blog are my family and friends. Or so I thought. Turns out I was wrong. Often when explaining something to my father, sister, mother or a friend, I said "but yeah you probably read this in my blog already". I could tell from their faces that they hadn't visited this site for ages (not that they should feel guilty about it). But they merely don't find this as interesting as my past life blog, as it isn't full of juicy gossip on my relationship or the language isn't Finnish.

This actually means then that the majority of you people reading this blog are total strangers to me! I can see I have visitors from all over the world. So I wonder who my readers are... Jews, other shiksas, people interested in history or traveling to Israel? Don't be shy, take the time to introduce yourself in the comments field. It's about time I knew something about you, like you know a little something about me... :)

gsickminds.net

We are what we eat

I recently read a book on all things kosher. The topic interests me, as I happen to love food and in my culture, there aren't any restrictions when it comes to eating food. We Finns can chow on pork, bear meat and hare. In a city called Tampere, they just love mixing blood in their sausages making the sausages black, and this autumn's crayfish season is just closing in. We can flush all this down with a glass of milk - a very typical drink even for adults at a mealtime. The raspberries we pick may have some tiny maggots in it. But like my grandmother - and now mother says, it's OK to eat them - they are practically made of the raspberry anyway.

Finnish blood sausage wrapped in bacon - do not try to sell this in Israel! (pic from lautasellasi.blogspot.com)

An observant Jew would probably faint at this point. Or to say the least, feel very disgusted. Actually, I also started feeling a bit queasy when thinking of a greasy pork ribs with melted cheese and a glass of milk. Ew. Keeping kosher in Finland would be extremely hard, and the only way out I can see is to become a vegetarian. Then you would be on the safe side for the most part.

www.israeli-t.com

Nowadays when I eat or cook, I often find myself thinking if this is "kosher" (OK, even though the beef or chicken I buy here at the super market isn't officially kosher). The other day I was cooking a nice beef steak with chanterelles and onions, and topping it off with cooking cream, I couldn't help but think of Deuteronomy 14:21 from the Bible... You know, the part about not cooking a kid in its mother's milk. A while back, I was attending a seminar and the buffet lunch had pork for the warm meal - the second option being shellfish mixed with rice. One weekend when doing BBQ with friends, we took big mushrooms, filled them with cream cheese and wrapped the whole thing in bacon. A Finnish summer BBQ delicacy but a taunting nightmare for anyone keeping kosher.

(www.biblicallykosher.com)

The book that I read had some really interesting insights to the kosher rules. Firstly, only recently has the European Union passed regulations for kitchens to have separate utensils for vegetables, dairy products and meat, in order to prevent bacteria from spreading. At an observant Jewish home, this has been a tradition for centuries already.

www.ekollel.com

What also makes sense is not to eat anything naturally dead. And check an animal that you have slaughtered if it was fully healthy. It is kind of disgusting to think what exactly could be found in a cheap frankfurter or minced meat - the production line where they generally throw all the crap that's left. Probably they throw in anything that wasn't good enough to be used as plain meat. Eating blood is a big no-no, which, you know, should be left only for vampires anyway. And since humans aren't really the top of the food chain, we shouldn't go after beastly animals that could as well kill us.

All the rules, in the end (according to the book), actually encourage people to live in harmony with the nature and above all, respect the nature. In addition, having discipline like this when it comes to food is good for the human nature. Gluttony and freely stuffing your face hasn't been proven healthy anywhere on this planet.

I have been allergic to fish and shellfish since I was a baby. It used to be so bad back in the day that my face would swell up even if I smelled fish. Nowadays, actually towards the end of this summer, I have learnt that I am no longer allergic to shrimps and crayfish. Hooray! But I couldn't help but wonder if this was one of G-d's jokes on me: I'm a shiksa, so of course I should be able to enjoy a shrimp or two every now and then. Whatever the irony might be here, I guess I should in the end be grateful for any medical healing (or blessing) that comes my way.

www.memegenerator.com

Forgive me

Autumn is a busy time for the Jews holiday-wise. Just as you've managed to put away the apples and honey of Rosh Hashana, it is time to concentrate in Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is often considered the most important holiday in Judaism, even for those who are not that religious. Yom Kippur lasts only for 25 hours, and it is about atonement: confessing your sins and asking for forgiveness.

I kind of like the idea of Yom Kippur. It could be called the day of the year when you come clean, both spiritually and literally.You keep your body clean by fasting for the duration of Yom Kippur, it is a tradition to wear white (= the color of purity), and you atone your sins between yourself and G-d. What is noteworthy is that sins committed against another person are not cleared ”automatically”: this you need to take separately with the person in question, before Yom Kippur.

(www.messiahmandate.org)

Comparing to Lutheranism, the religious context I pretty much have grown up in, I can't recall any particular time or day when forgiveness particularly is asked for. In fact, Lutheranism is based on the assumption and attitude built in every Lutheran that you are sinful and unclean no matter what you do. The cardinal sin is within us and no matter what you try to do, it is up to G-d's forgiveness to see the good in us. This is actually quite a gloomy take on things. Every day of the year a Lutheran carries this sin, acknowledging the fact of impurity, imperfection and unworthiness. Mix that with the coldness and darkness of the North, and you've got a road paved to depression and suicide. Sounds much like Finland, actually!

In the Roman Catholic church, there is a custom of confessing your sins to a priest every now and then. You can do it anonymously in a booth, the priest listens to you and gives you the recipe for purging yourself from these sins. 10 times Ave Maria and so forth. And I probably don't have to point out all the money the Catholic church has made with this sin business over the years. Uh.

Therefore, I think the Jewish way is kind of a fair and reasonable way of looking at the imperfection that lies within all of us. Instead of feeling guilty of your faults every day with ”no way out” like Lutherans, or buying and bargaining yourself clean whenever you feel like it like the Catholics, there's a period each year in which you rightfully are allowed and even expected to purge yourself from sins and wrong-doings. It is timed right after the new Jewish year has started, making perfect sense to have a fresh start. And most importantly, the earthy wrong-doings you don't settle with G-d but with the people, showing you need to have the morals and guts not to leave it all up to G-d, but actually act on your own mistakes already in this world to get them right.

Northern Star #3

Not only in random buildings in Helsinki, the familiar Magen David can be found in an old Finnish bank's savings box. Länsi-Suomen Osake-Pankki was established in 1912 and merged into other banks in 1929. This means the savings box was made some time between 1912-1929.

Sure, spotting this star in Finland might not have any deeper meaning than just being a star - but I find it funny anyway :-).

Your coins are safe here!

Second year student

I've voluntarily cursed myself with a continuation of another Hebrew course. Yes, as if the humiliations of last semester weren't enough, I decided to rise up for the challenge yet again and keep struggling with this foreign language. It is stressful at work again so I need that counterbalance anyway...

A tiny factor for creating stupid, useless arguments between an Israeli guy and a Finnish girl is to urge the Finnish person to read Hebrew. Reading without what I call the vowels. Infuriating. It is simply impossible to guess what a word means if your basic vocabulary is on the same level what a chimpanzee would know after completing immense training for years in this language. To give the Israeli an idea what it is like, I tried the same in Finnish. Do you know what this word is?

rhtomtti

Yes, a few vowels missing. For a Finn, it might be easy to figure out but for you foreigners, probably not. (Hint: I twisted this word in Hebrew to something nasty, similar to the word you use for "glass" in Hebrew.)

To bring back some of the alphabet learnt last time around, I'm posting some familiar writing below encountered in Israel. But for the record, I would not have been able to figure out the red & white text if I hadn't recognized the logo and famous bottle shape...

Mickey D's! Mem, kof, dalet, vav, nun, lamed, dalet, samech... Be-te avon!

Le chaim!

Happy New Year!

For someone so Finnish, it is funny to think that it would be time to celebrate new year just now. To me, new year's means freezing nights, glimmering stars in the sky that reflect on the white snow, numb fingers when trying to light fireworks outdoors - but at least the champagne stays chilled. Now it's autumn, and my environment couldn't be further from all of these things associated with new year.

But now it is the Jewish new year or like the natives would call it, Rosh Hashanah. Believe it or not, even my Finnish calendar noted it and had a little print "juutalainen uusivuosi" for yesterday and today. Cute! Rosh Hashanah is actually the sort-of birthday of Adam and Eve, as it is believed they were created in Tishrei - this Jewish month.

I already learnt something about the Jewish new year last autumn in Hebrew class. "Shana tova" - meaning "wishing you a good year" - is something you could typically say to a person during these days. Even though this particular greeting wishes you a good year, it is above all hoped to be sweet. That's why it's typical to dip slices of apple, the season's fruit, to honey. The honey is supposed to secure your coming year of being sweet. Strangely enough, apple happens to be Adam and Eve's forbidden fruit - but I don't think there's any connection there.

depositphotos.com

I have heard some (non-Jewish) people saying that they can relate more to the Jewish new year. And in a way, it is true. Even in our culture, this time of the year means the commencement of something new, especially in schools and other educational institutions. Even at work, after summer holidays, it might feel like you get the chance to take a new approach on things.

Gesundheit!

Often when I visit Israel, people keep on going about the wonderful educational system that my home country has. How come the kids are so smart and always top the PISA tests, what's our secret? I don't have an answer to this question. I guess we are just doing something right, for change.

Another topic often discussed is health care, and here I've had a gut feeling Finland has not got a lot to boast about comparing to Israel. A recent study by Bloomberg proves my concerns right: the health care system built in the 1970s in Finland doesn't serve the country today anymore. It is inefficient, complicated and expensive.

Finland was ranked 23rd the Bloomberg study, losing to countries like Thailand, Poland, Libya and Mexico. These are countries most Finns would like to regard as "lower grade" countries comparing to Finland... Poorer living standard, GDP, infrastructure etc. Ouch - not quite so in every aspect! Israel topped the study and was placed 4th - beating all European countries.

There was an article in a local newspaper a while back how our health care services should be sold to the Russians. They are often seeking treatment outside their own country, and the proximity to this vast market and (relatively) high quality of health care would impose an opportunity to Finland to make an extra buck. The article also mentioned that many Russians actually fly currently to Israel for medical treatment, obvious reasons being firstly, they need no visa to enter Israel and secondly, the quality of medical care is top-notch.

Even though this study doesn't reveal the entire truth, I do think that Finland could have something to learn from Israel. Read an article related to the study here.

Very much alive - at the Dead Sea

Summer 2013 was the time when I hit the lowest point ever during my life. Literally. Some what 420 meters below sea level.

Nearly ten time saltier than your average sea, the Dead Sea is somewhat a unique formation in the world. In Hebrew, it is called Yam ha Melah - the Sea of Salt - which is actually more describing than naming it dead. Fine, the sea itself doesn't really host life in the water or on the bottom and drinking more than a glass of the salty water means you need to rush to the nearest hospital. But the place is very much alive, hosting hotels and beach resorts both on the Israeli and Jordan shores, not to mention providing minerals and ingredients for the blooming cosmetics business.

The area around the Dead Sea is much warmer that the rest of Israel. If it was +30C when passing by Jerusalem, the thermometer hit my personal record of +42C at the Dead Sea. From afar, and near, it actually looks like any other sea. Blue, watery, pale sandy bottom...

Looks normal, right?

The fun actually starts when you dive in. Well, actually, correction - NEVER DIVE in the Dead Sea. Keeping your head above this sea level is crucial. The saltiness is exquisite and you don't want it anywhere near your nose, mouth or eyes. The sea will kindly remind you of any tiny little cuts (may it be neglected cuticles, uncomfortable shoes you wore the day before) you might have in your body. My hair got dipped in the water when I was floating on my back. After getting out of the sea, some water dripped from my hair to my face and eventually ended up in my eyes. The burning feeling was very unpleasant. I was not able to open my eyes due to the terrible burning sensation (for a moment I could have sworn I'm going to lose my eye sight), so my boyfriend had to lead me like a blind person to the showers to rinse it off. Luckily, the normal water helped rather quickly.

On the positive note, the Dead Sea is very generous and supportive if you happen to be a bad swimmer or suffer from skin problems. Here you can float around without much effort: the saltiness will make sure you stay on the surface. People with psoriasis have been coming to the sea to get help for their condition.

Another beach gimmick that is not very common was the barrels of mud & clay fished out of the Dead Sea, place conveniently near the shore. It was literally about getting dirty - sink your arms elbow deep, grab a chunk of mud and rub it all over yourself. Let it work its magic on your skin until the sun has dried it up, then take a dip and your skill will, most likely, feel nice and smooth.

The quickest "tan" I ever got! The mud also covers any unwanted body hair, hides cellulite and makes your teeth look whiter. Perfect beach attire, that is!

In addition to the Dead Sea, this beach with full facilities had a sulphur pool (very warm water - felt like making human soup). I haven't had time to google what kind of benefits sulphur has, but I'm sure it was a very healthy dip in the pool for the recommended 10-15 minutes. And after these extraordinary aquatic experiences, the regular pool at the beach didn't seem too interesting.

The pool with natural water containing heaps of sulphur.

Not to be pessimistic, but I remember when visiting Venice, Italy, I thought how long would the human kind be able to join that wonderful city - until it finally sinks underwater. The Dead Sea might be a similar, disappearing sight on this planet, as it has been decreasing in size. And there was gruelling evidence showing you this: at this beach, the first showers, bar and lifeguard booth were built approximately 70 meters up from the current seashore. That's how much the water level had withdrawn.

Constructions left unused.

So, we have already a warning example of the Lake Aral in Russia - so I suggest you book your visit to the Dead Sea as soon as possible. If you're not able to visit it in person, you can always indulge yourself with dead sea cosmetics I'm sure can be found at your local beauty store.

Shiksa at the shuk

One of the few new words I learnt in Israel this summer was shuk, which means the market. In Tel Aviv, Shuk Ha Carmel - The Carmel Market - is a nice place for any visitor to swing by.

The Carmel Market is probably the reason why they call Israel the land of milk and honey. Or the land of plenty. Since everything grows in that generous climate, you are bound to find all the fruits from A to Z in this place. For a Northerner like me, there are fruits that I didn't even recognize. And I'm still not sure whether sabra is in just plain simply cactus fruit in English or kaktushedelmä in Finnish.

This time, I actually tasted this thorny procude of Mother Nature. Semi-sweet but a bit rough on the teeth thanks to the seeds. Israeli citizens born in Israel are called sabras, and no wonder why. They are a bit hard to handle :).

Even though it was your typical hot July summer day, a stroll at the Carmel market is actually quite refreshing. Not only is there continuous shade thanks to the booths and their marquise, the fresh fruit juices prepared according to your wishes keep you going and contribute your five colors/half a kilo/vitamins from A to Z a day for sure. Talking about a liquid lunch that keeps you filled and is also approved by your GP...

This stuff puts the 0,99 EUR sugary, colored liquid they claim to be fruit juice at my nearby supermarket to shame.

I love going to a market like this and look in awe at all the products they sell. The fruits, the spices, all the beans and lentils, vegetables... I know where I would go for grocery shopping every weekend if I lived in Tel Aviv. And lead such a healthy life, right?! This time, I grabbed some granola, raw tahina, sweet tahina and hamsa keyrings to bring home. As for spices, I still didn't have to bother to buy a refill for some chili, as the tiny red little buggers I got at Mahane Yehuda in Jerusalem last year are nowhere near to finishing. Half a chili is enough to light a fire in my kitchen.

Israel, the only pancontinental country in the world

During my first visit(s) in Israel, I was kind of ready to label the place as one of those typical Mediterranean countries like Greece. There was a lot of text book material in Israel to draw this conclusion from and just to name a few...

• the ever-baffling equation of low salaries and high rents - how do (young) people get by...
• time: it's not uncommon to have lunch at 3-4pm, dinner at 10-11pm
• the free, small, thin and afterwards useless plastic bags at supermarkets
• public transport is overruled by cars, cars and more cars, and the traffic is probably where you're as a tourist most likely to get killed (not the rockets from Gaza or suicide bombers)
• and yes, don't walk anywhere, always take a car
• if people raise their voices, it doesn't necessarily mean there's an argument or a fight, they just are loud
• mothers have a genetic mutation which makes them unbelievably talented in the kitchen
• they make great wines
• and I don't really need to mention the climate.

So yeah, I was heavily starting to believe that the Mediterranean has some sort of substance in its water which evaporates in the air, making all the countries around it, including Israel chaotic and similar somehow. I mean, when you think about it, Spain, Italy and Greece are totally lost with their capability to handle money. On the other side of their shore are Tunis, Egypt etc. who have been in a turmoil and political imbalance for some time already. Not to mention Lebanon, Syria, Turkey. Israel falls under this category, whether it wants to be there or not. The only country who more or less has its act together in that region is actually France. The only reason must be that geographically France extents so much in the North so it is able to breath in some of that cool air to create sense, order and stability.

Photo borrowed from www.greenprophet.com

 (I hope that you readers are smart enough to sense the sarcastic tone of this text. As I don't know you, just wanted to be on the safe side and mention this at this point.)

Wikipedia says Israel is in Middle East, Madonna claims her Sticky and Sweet world tour ended in Israel, Asia. Some claim that the country does not even exist - depending on which source you have at hand. I was, however, based on my first conclusions, ready to label it Mediterranean, which would make it, well sort of European. Israel is participating in the Eurovision song contest, too and I remember someone rooting for Israel's membership in the European Union, as most people living there originate from Europe.

But was I right? On second thought, maybe not. When visiting the country again, and then again, I started to sense some North American tones in the air. I'm not talking about Nike and Coca Cola here (these could be categorized global nowadays) but it shouldn't come as a surprise that some extra American influence has landed in Israel. USA is good buddies with Israel after all.

Photo borrowed from www.tabletmag.com

I mean, take a look what's going on in the retail business in Israel: malls. Everyone does their shopping in huge, clean, state-of-the-art malls. With food courts, cinemas and the GAP. Old cute city centers are suffering in the shadow of these beautiful air conditioned architectural erections. Or how about that Mediterranean style traffic? On a second thought, everyone is driving an SUV, Jeep or any other monster truck that is sure to set you back with the gasoline budget. There must be more Buicks in Israel than in Europe, not to mention the unexplainable absence of the ultimate solution to congested, parking-handicapped busy Mediterranean cities: the Smart car. I did not see even one in Tel Aviv, although my logic was that this would be the car I would own if I was living there.

Another thing to add to this mix is the food and restaurants. Stingy Scandinavian restaurant owners will leave you hungry but in the land of plenty - both USA and Israel - your food portions will be huge and probably too large for you to handle. Tipping is common in some places in Europe but it is far more prominent in Israel, just like in the States. It is mandatory and if you leave too little, the waiter will run after you asking "what the hell". This would never happen at least in my precious Finland, and no need to add that I am a cheap tipper. Put the final price on the tag or the menu so I know what I'm getting, please. One more thing the US and Israel have in common that the society is a melting pot. The US has by now formed a strong national identity and culture (yes, I think the US has culture, you Euristocrats shush now), Israel is getting there but the fact remains that both countries are built on immigration.

So, there obviously are some factors that make Israel more American than most of the countries in Europe. I don't want to let you off that easy, though, since things never are so simple when it comes to Israel. There are some key American factors that are missing in that country. Despite the huge food portions, obesity isn't nearly as big a problem in Israel as it is in the US. So, it must be the famous healthy Mediterranean diet that keeps their weight normal? Also, in American companies' high school, Starbucks and Burger King would easily be voted "most likely to succeed". Nope, not so much in Israel. They prefer their own Aroma coffee, Moses burgers and maybe the kosher McDonald's on the side.

So, I am left a bit confused here. The country located in Europe, Asia or Middle East. The country that uses other than Latin alphabet (Hebrew, Arabic and Russian must be most popular), speaking at least a hundred languages and driving American cars with Mediterranean attitude, while eating a kosher American burger and sipping Israeli coffee. I guess this is something you get when you combine centuries of exile and diaspora around the world in a religion and these people cramming themselves together again in a tiny country, cooperating with the Americans and located in a bad crazy neighborhood. With all its beauty, complexity and flaws, a truly unique country in the world. This is what Israel is now.

Photo borrowed from www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

Kosher golden arches

My recent visit was yet another typical taunt for my poor boyfriend, as I demanded to try or do things unique only for Israel. One thing on the list was to try my very own friendly neighborhood restaurant's kosher version... McDonald's.

Not all McDonald's restaurants are kosher in Israel. We actually had to search for one online. Before, I wouldn't have been able to tell a kosher and regular McDonald's apart (I actually hadn't seen one, there aren't that many around) but now finally after visiting one, the difference is obvious, of course: thou shall not cook a lamb in its mother's milk. Therefore, products containing dairy (special coffees, Sundaes etc.) and meat products are sold and served from two totally different counters. Naturally, meat and dairy need to be kept separate.

Only dairy products from this corner. For burgers, move little to the right.

 I had wondered before how they have chosen to tackle this problem in an all American fast food restaurant with non-kosher food. Maybe replacing regular milk with soy milk in the milkshake? It was nothing like this, though.

Even though the McDonald's in Israel had some interesting burgers on the menu that are not sold back home, I opted for a classic and ordered a Big Mac. And you know what, it tasted the same. Minus the cheese, of course. I'm lovin' it!

Looks the same, taste the same, cost the same. McDonald's stays true to its flavors.

My pink elephant

I am getting the feeling that in spite all the hospitality, friendliness, kindness and jokes together, being non-Jewish is a kind of a glass ceiling one can't break. Even with the risk of sounding ungrateful or defying the saying about not throwing stones in glass houses (with those glass ceilings), here goes anyway.

Being non-Jewish, you ultimately will be liked only to a certain extent. It doesn't mean you are hated or considered a bad person, but since you're not Jewish – you won't be taken for a ride for that extra mile. Shiksa/goy is a label you can't choose to take off. And it might not be obvious discrimination or a statement of opinion – or even anything that someone would say out loud. It is kind of like that pink elephant in the living room. Everyone knows it's there, but it might not be spoken of. Well, except by a blabber shiksa like myself.

I can't help but think if my surname ended in ”-ovich” or a maternal great grandmother would be discovered to be Jewish; that invisible barrier I can't break, the label I can't take off, would be removed for me. I would get an all access pass to the Jewish funfair. But alas, none of this will be happening. Well, what about that conversion thing then? For all the reasons stated in this text so far it would be like forfeiting and admitting that there is something wrong with you.

But that's the thing, there isn't. No one did anything wrong by being born non-Jewish (or vice versa for that matter). It is not a choice, but yet you are being judged according to it. It could be compared to the security check at any Israeli airport. They treat you in a sort of polite manner, but yet doubt, question and scan you, leaving you feeling uneasy and thinking what did I do wrong to deserve this. And the process will never go away if you keep visiting the land of Israel – no matter how many Israeli stamps in your passport, hamsa key rings or I heart Israel t-shirt with blinking neon lights in your suitcase. Or no matter how nice, funny and smart you are as a person. You're always the usual suspect. You didn't do anything wrong; it's just the way it is and will be: at the airport, outside the airport.

So, the pink elephant is there, your presence in social media is denied and your existence is never revealed to certain relatives or friends. Those who say that this sort of situation is not really a problem, are lying. There's obviously something to be hidden, and it may not be you as a person - but the fact that you are not an "-ovich". I am not writing this to demonstrate that I am desperate to join the haim-mile club. No, but the whole setup is very sad and hard not to take, well, personally. Feeling inadequate as a person for qualities in you that you can't help is quite a heavy baggage to carry if this status quo will persist in my life going forward.

Sometimes, I'm asking myself how it is in reverse. Did I ever encounter a situation where I'd need to hide or deny the fact that I have a Jewish boyfriend? Did my parents, family or friends ever consider it a constraint? So far, never. The only constraint that I can see is that we as a couple can never visit certain Arab countries, but this is not a problem caused by me, my country or my background. And sometimes I think if this is a European thing, where people are sticking to their national identity, language and colors of flag so strongly. Would it be different in the US for us, for instance? I wouldn't be Christian, Finnish or shiksa, he wouldn't be Israeli or Jew, but we'd be (after a long naturalization process and unlikely to happen anyway) just merry Americans?

I'm not asking to be considered kosher, I'd settle for being parve. But like the piggies and myself, we can't really help it. According to the Torah, according to the glass ceiling, pink elephant... we are what we are - can't chew this cud. And in a desperate search of a silver lining and somewhat of a positive ending to this text, I could say that at least I'm not an Arab or German. So it could be worse, no?

The Promise

I overheard a coffee break discussion at work the other day about a TV mini series called "The Promise"(Luvattu maa in Finnish, bad translation). The series had worked as an eye-opener for some of the people discussing it how the Jews in Israel are not as innocent as they appear to be. What was this series all about? Naturally, I had to check it out asap...

Since I had missed the TV airing times for the series, I was lucky to catch all the four episodes online at Yle Areena service (getting my tax money's worth). Warning for those who do not want spoilers, I advise you to stop reading now.

The plot seemed interesting at first... A young English girl named Erin travels to Israel to keep company for a friend who flies back to do her military service. Before this trip, Erin had found his grandfather's old diary from the days when he was stationed in Palestine during the British Mandate. Erin's visit to Israel starts all ooh-la-la-you've-got-villas-with-pools, shopping in swanky boutiques and dancing the night away in a huge, pulsating nightclub. As the story bounces back and forth between modern day (Erin) and the 1940s (the grandfather), shots from liberated concentration camps are shown and those who survived, how happily they arrived in Palestine - liberated, alive, in search for hope after the horrendousgenocide. You might think the series is a ploy from the Israeli government for good word-of-mouth. But then the story changes. The brother of Erin's friend shows up and he is pro-Palestine and starts showing her the other side of the coin.

What started as a seemingly positive story about Israel, quickly turns sour for the Jewish folks. The only "negative" thing about the Arabs/Palestinians portrayed is a suicide bomber attack in a cafe but the rest concentrates on how seemingly the majority of the Jews were members of Irgun (and therefore murderous, deceiving and just terrible people hungry for blood) and how the settlers spit and trash the Arab citizens of the country. While these might not be far-fetched, I'm sure all of Israel is not like this and most of them would be embarrassed of such things to begin with.

Erin's visit to Gaza was the anti-climax of the show, the character's unreal attempts to sympathize with the locals and chaining herself to a building to stop the destruction of it. Please, how naive. The conflict lies way deeper and the fact that Erin tried to solve it by clinging on to a young Palestinian girl (who was to be used as a human shield by the IDF) was just irritating.

The series, I'm guessing, is trying to be impartial and demonstrate the story through the Brits, Jews, Arabs, 1940s and modern time. Quoting the grandfather character from the end, at first he would have let the Jews have anything (after seeing the concentration camps) but now... he wasn't so sure anymore. A country born out of violence will live with the same violence until the (bitter?) end.

The whole conflict is sad, and probably most of the people in the area are not war-maniacs wishing for the blockages, bombings and rockets to continue. When things are prolonged and go on for a long time, societies and nations evolve and change, and the root of it all starts to get blurred. When you kill, it's terrorism? When we will, it is self-protection? Difficult questions that "The Promise" wasn't able to answer and probably didn't intend to do so, after all.

Picture borrowed from Wikipedia.

Holy Land, here I come!

Finally! At last – like Etta James would sing – I've got flights booked to Israel. This summer in Finland has been quite balmy to us near the Arctic Circle but I'm the kind of girl who needs minimum +28C to start wearing skirts and shorts to call it a real summer. To reach these degrees, we Northerners usually have no other choice but to hit the South. The temperatures in Tel Aviv seem to bounce nicely between +25C and +30something C, and I especially look forward to those warm evenings and nights when you don't need to carry a sweater and gloves with you "just in case it gets chilly".

I am quite prepared: got some shekels, sunscreen and Crocs waiting to hit the heat. I recently purchased my first-ever pair of Crocs even though I previously had sworn off those hideous clumsy plastic things. But then I was tipped off by a friend and I came across this pretty pair that swooned my picky feet - and we've been walking on air together ever since (love at first step). I've been told that Crocs are somewhat of a national attire in Israel so now I will fit in nicely!

I've never really experienced the lovely sea and beaches or the Dead Sea in Israel. The only swim I have taken there was a hasty dip in the Genesaret, so this time around I am hoping for more. Contemplating a swim means, though, daring the horrors of wearing a bikini... I'm thinking the mud at the Dead Sea would cover nicely all the screaming white, wobbly bits that I am not proud of, so maybe I should opt for that? Panic preparations for the bikini problems have started: I've booked an appointment for ultrasound fat removal procedure next Tuesday. And ran 2km last Tuesday. Desperate? Yes. Will it help? No. But there is no harm in trying is there...

I was determined to book the flights with Finnair in order to commemorate the fact they opened this seasonal route just this year when I'm in first need of this connection. Apparently it is quite a popular one as I could only get my return ticket with the familiar blue & white wings. To make things a tad more interesting, I've booked a kosher meal for my return flight. I am curious to see & taste how a Finnish airline goes kosher!

Need to struggle at work for a little more, and then I can call it a h-o-l-i-d-a-y!

Saving Private... Pictures

The IDF recruits - mainly the female ones - have made headlines a couple of times by posting seductive photos of themselves in little clothing accessorized with rifles in the social media. Usually these photos have lead to disciplinary measures in the army, but never-the-less the ladies manages to show another side of, ehm, army life.

Probably one of the world's most useless polls, but The Sun magazine decided to find out which country has the sexiest female soldiers. I could have sworn Israel would have won this due to to recent activity in SoMe, but surprisingly, it was Romania who took home the 1st prize. Israel placed 6th, Finland 8th.

IDF's finest...

www.mirror.co.uk

...and a more humble Finn wearing "cucumber salad".

www.puolustusvoimat.fi

As you probably might know, military service is compulsory for both guys and girls in Israel. And we're not talking about a few months here. At its lowest, you can be done with your service in Finland in mere 165 days. In Israel, guys need to prepare for 3 years and girls for 2. This for teens finishing their high school might seem like an eternity. Finns at that age would be planning gap years and what not, while their Israeli counterparts prepare to endure military life for longer than in many other countries.

I've often wondered how lucky I am in that sense that my local army is not at all interested in my services. In Finland, women are in no way obliged to do military service but can voluntarily join. However, before doing so they need to go through e.g. a medical check to get approval. I have no friends who would have gone through this trouble...

Klezmofobia

Not too long ago, I was visiting a store with my boyfriend that sells all sorts of (unnecessary) low-priced knickknacks for home, parties and what not. I went in to buy a card for a wedding but saw at the cashier a bargain for a CD. Klezmofobia - Kartushnik, it said on the album cover.

Klezmer music, I exclaimed my eyes beaming and quickly picked up a copy to have a closer look. My boyfriend was rolling his eyes and said it wasn't klezmer. "What about these songs then?", I continued insistently, "Verdamte oy vei, Schlomo Ben Avram, Yiddishe Mame... Sounds pretty klezmerish to me!".

And I was right (as usual,you know). After purchasing the CD, at home I finally got - or should I say heard - a glimpse of klezmer music for mere 4,00 EUR. Klezmofobia is a band originating from Denmark, and the group has been together since 2004. They have won various awards in the local country, and Kartushnik is their 3rd album.

I've been meaning to go to a klezmer music jamming session at a cafe in Helsinki for a long time now but something always got in the way. Now, there's a summer break but hopefully they will start up again in autumn.

A little is known about the history of klezmer music. It originates from the Eastern European Ashkenazi Jews, and has taken influence from e.g. Romanian folk music. In late 1800s and early 1900s, a lot of the Jewish immigrants in the US caused klezmer music to form a fusion with jazz.

To me personally, the clarinet is a typical cue that you're tuning into klezmer music. I like how catchy the music is - without knowing it, your tapping to the rhythm with your foot or fingers.

Tune in for Klezmofobia, the band here!

Photo borrowed from klezmofobia.dk

Oy vey what an oil!

My love affair with Moroccan Oil continues... Now I've finally acquired a bottle of this nectar for thirsty hair home. It is a pricey product (125ml bottle costs about 50,00 EUR), but nothing beats the sensation, smell and feeling of soft hair after applying this magic substance.

After checking some prices, getting this good stuff directly from the source is more affordable. A 200ml bottle in Israel would leave me around 40,00 EUR poorer - but still give me twice as much of the oil. Needless to say, next time around I won't be carrying olive oli home from Israel but Moroccan Oil!

Picture borrowed from http://aroundthewaycurls.com

"Let G-d nobody see it again"

I have always been secretly jealous of the Americans. They all have such interesting backgrounds. Nearly everyone can list that their grandfather was Irish or grandmother was Italian, or how they are part Cherokee Indian, part Swedish, part German, or how their ancestors arrived in the new land on Mayflower.

The TV show "Who do you think you are" is an interesting deep-dive to the family roots of certain American celebrities. The episode I picked to write about here is the one of Lisa Kudrow and her great grandmother's fate in Belarus during the WWII.

I didn't even realize she was part Jewish. Somehow, it was Ross Geller (or David Schwimmer) and not Phoebe Buffay in the TV show Friends who stole the part of being Jewish :-).

The heading of this article is a direct, translated quote from the episode. It was said by an old Belarussian woman in the village of Ilya, how she testified the destiny of the Jews in the village. Trying to escape death at a human bonfire, a little girl tried to hide under the bed. A German officer spotted her and dragged her by force, only to shoot the child. "Let G-d nobody see it again", said the witness.

View the episode in full at the link below:
http://vimeo.com/21724326

Writer's block

Well, you finally did it. You were able to silence me. I have not updated this blog for a while since I have simply run out of things to write about!

My Hebrew classes are over for now, I haven't read any Judaism/WWII books lately, nor seen related movies, you know the story of Fafa's already, I visit the same foreign cities with the same Jewish museums (so no point in writing about them again), I haven't visited Israel for a whole year and I unfortunately missed anything "Jewish" going on in Helsinki - so I can't write about that either.

You probably are not interested in hearing about the miserable success both Israel and Finland had in the Eurovision Song Contest (although on behalf of the whole country I'd like to thank the Israeli voters for being one of the very few that even granted us points).

Someone once said no news is good news - so let's go with that. But I'm sure my inner typist will be triggered by some article or happening, sooner or later... Enjoy the spring! <3

Access denied

Marion Rung is a Finnish-Jewish singer (and therefore a celebrity here), and today an incident at the Jewish cemetary made headlines at a local tabloid. Marion's husband was denied access to the cemetary since he refused to put on a kippah.

It was the one year anniversary of Marion's mothers' death, and the tombstone was being revealed at the cemetary. Marion's husband Kalle Munck had worn a kippah at the funeral itself a year ago, but refused to put it on this time around. Therefore the Rabbi asked him not to join the others at the cemetary but to wait outside. Mr. Munck was offended and sad that he couldn't attend the ceremony and is going to make an official complaint about the incident to the ombudsman. Munck states he, as a atheist, refuses to wear any religious garments. He sees the wearing of the kippah only as a recommendation and the cemetary being maintained with tax payer's money - so wearing the tiny hat should be optional.

Needless to say, this guy was labeled as a jerk, idiot, childish etc. by the readers of the article in the comments section. I have to agree, he wears a kippah one year earlier and now refuses? How disrespectful for his wife and late mother-in-law, not to mention to make this kind of an issue a matter of law and publicity...

I was once denied access to the Vatican because the sleeves of my t-shirt were too short. For goodness sake, a Christian institution bans the visit of a fellow Christian because of clothes! Should I have pressed charges, too? Or what about Mt. Athos in Greece where no women are allowed to enter? That is discrimination, but you don't see any lawsuits around. What a jerk indeed. The Rabbi was right.

(Picture from wikimedia.org)

Read the article here in Finnish.

The Bar fan strikes again

"An endearing moment - ladybug lands on Bar Refaeli's freckled nose". Yes, this is a word-to-word translation of the Finnish tabloid headline found at IltaSanomat. Totally not news-worthy, and yet again on Bar.

My suspicion about an anonymous Bar Refaeli fan being nestled among the writer's team for this tabloid got yet again wind below its wings. The articles rarely have a named author. He (she?) simply writes about the fabulousness of this Israeli model and in the end encourages you "not to fall in despair even though this ultimate dream girl is in a far away land. Be lucky in search of a valentine in May Day parties".

Seriously? :D

See for yourself by clicking here.

Vappu - the Finnish Purim

The title is misleading, as Finland does not celebrate Purim or otherwise officially appreciate the stories why Purim is celebrated. But right now, I am merely referring to the general festival atmosphere that takes over Finland on May Day, much like Israel goes costumes in Purim.

I've seen a glimpse of Purim in Eilat, when I found it amusing that the sales person in GAP was wearing Mickey Mouse ears. Funny. The Finnish Vappu is also about getting your masquerade gear on, buying helium-filled balloons, loud plastic whistles or horns, wearing wigs and whatnot. The tivoli is in town, fixed amusement parks open their doors, the summer is on the brink.

Unlike Purim, the Finnish Vappu has no official root in any religion or bible - albeit its name is derived nowadays from a German abbess. It used to be, once again, a pagan party that over the years evolved in Finland to the working class' day to celebrate in quite formal settings, until the public and especially students adopted it and turned it to an excuse to get wasted.

I can think of two Jewish holidays that in some sort encourage to consume alcohol: one of them indeed is Purim, and the other one is Passover. A lot of cups of wine involved in both of them. Finns don't need Talmud or any other formal reason to get wasted - it is enough to find a reason or to make up one.

The church has never been a source or inspiration for the use of spiritus fortus, except the tiny shot of wine given at communion. In fact, none of the main Finnish drinking festivals can be associated with today's religious holidays: I already explained what's behind May Day, and another time when only a handful of people would be in driving condition in Finland is Midsummer in June, which is originally a pagan festivity (and later moved by the church to the birthday of John - Johannes - which explains the Finnish name Juhannus for the party). The ancient Finns, however, did believe that being drunk and noisy in Midsummer will drive bad spirits away - and still implement this belief in practice.

Whatever the reason, I'm sure both countries host a nice carnival feeling whether it is Vappu or Purim. What you can count on in Vappu is that the weather will be crap. Nonetheless, I've got my costume ready for tomorrow :-).

And PS. isn't it a bit disturbing how many pagan festivals the Christian belief has just adopted and/or moved and turned Christian?

The gay "Marry Me"

It was not a long time ago I wrote here about the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest and Finland's poor success in this merry musical event. But now out of the blue, a parody video of her song has been made - also to reflect a very hot topic currently in Europe related to the title of the song: yes, it's a gay version of Krista's "Marry me"!

Awesome, but what makes it even more awesome, the video was made by an Israeli and a Swiss guy. This is not their first time when using Finland's ESC participants as a source of inspiration - they did a similar video in 2010.

Check out the latest made by the Parody Guys Dekel Ben Avi and Bastien Venturi's and look for glimpses of Helsinki and Tel Aviv! There's no such thing as bad publicity and since 150 volunteers participated in making this video, let's hope this video boosts Krista's success in the upcoming contest! Love is in the air :-)...

PS. Is the onion ring a common joke in Israel? I think I heard it before!

Got to appreciate stereotypes!

Have you ever come across the little book series called Xenophobe's guides? I have, and have two editions - guess which ones? ;-)

The Israeli version I have read through twice, first time last summer. The Finn version I read yesterday for the first time and actually laughed out loud. People on the same airplane turned around to see why I was so noisy (like typical Finns would do).

Usually I am not a big fan of stereotypes, probably because I like to consider myself as a non-typical Finn: I don't like the sauna or summer cottages. I don't go silent in all five languages, I do master smalltalk and use body language and facial expressions when communicating. Even though the Xenophobe's guide to the Finns touches upon these features I don't recognize in myself, the book offered me moments where I had to be honest to myself: alas, this is so true, this is how I am. How spot on.

What about the Israeli one? The great thing about the book is that it actually talks about Israelis - not necessarily pin-pointing Jews. It manages to go where I have not been able to go yet: define what is Israel, who is an Israeli and who is a Jew. Because an Israeli doesn't always equal Jew or Jew an Israeli.

These books are highly recommended reading if you're interested to know about the people in a country. Not where to get good lunch or what are the most important sights, but who make up the country to what is is!

Shiksas keep out

It was Friday afternoon, I had worked until 6pm again and felt really bored with all that... Playing around with my mobile phone on the subway before hitting the bar to have a drink with friends, I tuned in for the daily Times of Israel newsletter and noticed this ad:

Exactly what was needed to catch my attention. My imagination started galloping... why not enter this contest - what's the worst thing that could happen? One year in Israel, working for one of these companies, learning the language, getting a real taste of the culture (so I'd actually know what I'm talking about here), and a perfect getaway and wake-up call from the ever-so-dull routine I have developed back home. I could rent out my apartment for one year, no biggie, and IBM, KPMG or the likes of them would not look bad on my resumé either.

Before I texted "let's try this out!!!" to my Finnish friend who is an Israel fan, I started reading the details of the contest. My enthusiasm took a nose-dive from 100 to 0, when the rules for the contestants were:

• Must be Jewish or of Jewish descent.
• Must be a citizen of the US or Canada.

My first reaction was that this is discrimination - something I'm not really used when living in Finland and belonging to the boring majority of people here. "This is my Israel"? More like that is their Israel, shiksas from the 236th tribe keep out. Landing a dream job in Israel is not for you.

Then I started thinking that the newspaper and newsletter are probably not really targeted to the likes of me to begin with. That ad was never meant for my eyes to be seen and to be misunderstood that it is not for everybody but concerns North American Jews who are thinking of aliyah.

Well, never mind, it was not meant to be. After a mojito and catching up with friends, things didn't seem so grim after all. There are other dreams and jobs out there.

(View the contest here.)

A museum visit in Norway

My Scandinavian tour of Jewish museums is complete. Last weekend I got to tick off the last country off my list: Norway. Established in a building that used to be a synagogue, the Jewish Museum of Oslo is located conveniently in the center. You can recognize the museum from its iron gate so be brave, buzz the door bell and enter. Entrance tickets are reasonably priced (50 NOK for adults).

Unfortunately, it was not allowed to photograph inside, but basically the museum has two aspects that you could expect it to have: the other aspect tells the story of Jews in Norway during WWII and the occupation, and the other is a classic story of a Jewish year, explaining all related holidays. Nearly everything was translated into English, for those who do not know any Norwegian or other Scandinavian languages.

The day that we (yes, my boyfriend joined!) visited the museum was no ordinary day... There was a "family Sunday" arranged around Pesach. There was a play by local teens telling the story of Moses and Exodus, and activities around the Seder dinner and plate for kids: coloring, cutting out and pasting paper maror etc. on a paper Seder, and a tasting menu of matza and the rest that you can find on a Seder plate. A note was given to typically Scandinavian kids: charoset cannot be eaten by those who are allergic to nuts (because all the kids in the Nordics are allergic to something!). The museum was rather packed because of this event, and it was quite endearing and heart-warming to see such a small but tight community getting together for the holiday season.

A snapshot of the museum's website about Family Sunday - Pesach.

It was interesting to read about what went on in Norway during the WWII. All the Nordic countries had very different destinies during this war. Sweden remained untouched, Finland messed with the Germans but kept Finnish-Jews safe and Denmark and Norway were occupied. It was shocking to learn that prison/labor camps were established in Norway and Jewish prisoners were under more harsh treatment in these places. So the camps weren't just in Poland and elsewhere in Central Europe - also here in the Nordics. Many Norwegian Jews fled to Sweden, but nearly 800 Jews were murdered - for the most part in Auschwitz. Those who fled to Sweden or beyond, often chose not to return.

The Norwegian government cooperated with the Nazi regime as the Norwegian Royal Family left for exile during the war. Jewish families were not allowed to own radios, their IDs were stamped with the letter "J" and as mentioned, possessions were confiscated and many ended up dying at concentration camps. Today, the community has been revived with somewhat 1500s Jews in Norway that are well integrated in the society, however the Chabad-Lubavitch has a permanent presence in Norway.

The building served as a synagogue until 1942. Outside the museum, there are metal placates on the ground with names of those Jews who lived in the area and were sent to Auschwitz.

If I had to rank the Swedish, Norwegian and Danish Jewish museums, I'd say the Norwegian one is the best and most comprehensive one. There's also a great gift shop with many Jewish items. Unfortunately, though, I have seem to come 100% with Judaica and Jewish items, since I could not find anything that I didn't have to buy at the gift shop!

As there was nothing new to add to my souvenir collection, I took the recipe for Natascha's blintzes :-).

PS. An interesting tidbit I learnt while visiting this museum was the vague connection between astrology and Judaism. The Kabbalah is into astrology, and the Zodiac signs almost seem to sync better with the Jewish calendar months better than the Gregorian months... I always wondered why Capricorn isn't 1st-31st of January but overlaps from December to January etc.

Eager ivrit student

I (אני) can't begin describing how studying (לומדת) Hebrew (עברית) has saved my life (חיים) last autumn and this spring. Even though the language classes (שיעורים) sometimes are a source of temporary moments of intense frustration, looking back I am so happy and glad to see how I have progressed from zero knowledge to what (מה) I know (יודעת) now (עכשיו). The classes have also (גם) been a form of therapy for me amongst busy working life, taking my thoughts off from all the work things I should not be wasting my time thinking when outside the office.

Now I can in Hebrew tell a bit about myself, order simple stuff in a restaurant (מסעדה), ask and tell the time (מה השעה) and make simple questions and sentences. In Hebrew - the language that made no sense to me not so many months ago! I even installed a Hebrew keyboard to my cell phone (פלאפון) so I can sometimes surprise my boyfriend (חבר) by WhatsApping him in Hebrew.

When the course started, we were about 25 eager students (סטודנטים). Those with not enough time or motivation have dropped out and a bit over 10 (עשר) is left. This remaining group is so into the language that together we bought extra classes for the spring. And I already pre-enrolled for the next course starting in September.

There's still a long way to go before I could add Hebrew to my LinkedIn profile as a skill. Maybe (אולי) a four (ארבע) week summer holiday in a kibbutz (קיבוץ) in Israel (בישראל) would take me to that level?

I wonder, though, how well do the Jews in diaspora know Hebrew or is it just the sabras of Israel that know it well? Do e.g. Finnish Jews speak fluent Hebrew?

My Seder style dinner

This past week has been important for both Jews and Christians. Passover and Easter coincide this year (again) and Israel has probably been buzzing with tourists, Jerusalem in particular with Christians.

My boyfriend and I were also supposed to go celebrate Passover in Israel this year. But alas, an exam week ruined the plans, so we settled for spending Easter in Helsinki... The grey views, dirty snow, everything closed, much fun.

But then I got this idea, just for the sake of my boyfriend, that since he wasn't able to do the Seder dinner with his family, maybe I could give it a go here in Helsinki.

This all actually started in New York City last June when I bought the below books while visiting the Jewish museum. I don't know why I did it, probably because of pain of a solely Hebrew Haggadah-book was fresh in mind from that year. To take corrective measures, I decided to buy the Hebrew & English version for next time and the museum gift shop keeper was such a good salesman that he sold me the Passover cookbook while at it. He warned me, though, that the recipes are only kosher style. So I guess the whole Seder now in 2013 was doomed to be a bit of kosher style; passover style; Jewish style. Not quite the real thing but something mimicking it, anyway.

Once my boyfriend finally (took a while!) booked his flights here, the real planning started. What do you need to arrange a tiny Passover dinner for two? I started making a to-do list in my mind and some I could cross out immediately...

• Great, the Haggadah I have from New York.
• There's got to be a Seder plate. Without it, it just won't work. Where to get one of those?
• Did the matza have a special plate, too?
• Does Prophet Elijah need a special cup or would a normal one do?
• How in the world do I make my home "kosher for passover"?
• And of course, where to buy the food? 

I decided that Prophet Elijah needs to settle for one of my Iittala Essence wine glasses. I wouldn't be able to arrange the Seder on the right night anyway, and he is probably busy visiting real Jewish homes. So that's going to have to do. What about removing all the leavened food from my home? Please forgive me, but I saw no point of selling all my pots and pans to a goy (ehm, I'm a goy myself). The kitchen I cleaned, I'll give you that, but I won't go on all my fours with a magnifying glass to look for a bread crumb that might or might not be there. I don't keep bread at home anyway.

(Mind you, upon arriving in Helsinki my boyfriend announced he took a loaf of bread from home and brought it here as it would have expired otherwise. So much for the great efforts of getting rid of all the chametz...)

So, let's move on to the plates. A brief thought of stocking up on tiny Iittala Teema plates crossed my mind, but then I thought that would look too hastily put together. I wanted the real thing. There aren't any Judaica stores or museums in Finland, so my best bet was to surf then net. I remembered seeing lots of online store selling anything Jewish, anything from a small star to a massive Menorah. No problem!

But no, wait. All these stores are American web shops. Any purchase above 25€ and I would have to pay customs and VAT and while at it, an arm and a leg. Same goes for all the Israel web shops as it is outside EU purchases.

Plan B then. Google for Jewish online stores in Europe. Thanks to that blessed European Union, I wouldn't have to worry about any customs formalities and paperwork. I found a nice British online store offering all items Jewish, including beautiful Seder plates of glass. A bit pricey, but hey, at least they deliver to EU countries. Just when I was about to place my order, I noticed a warning text in red: glass items won't be shipped outside the UK. And all the Seder plates in their selection were of glass...

Plan C then. Activating the 4th best language I can speak and write, I googled auf Deutsch for jüdisches online Laden. And there was a hit, and boy was it a good one! Judaica4all offered a great selection of products, including Seder plates and this time there were no red warning texts. I found a tray for the matza and some other small items, too, so problem solved. A week later when the items I had purchased arrived in Finland, I had two days of terror with the local post office, as they had handed my parcel to someone totally else! Eize mazal, this person was honest and returned it (unopened) back to the post office, so I could go retrieve it.

So what was left on my list now? Of course, the holy of the holiest in any Jewish holiday... the food. This is touchy, this is the zone and area where shiksas will be beaten to pulp by all the bubbes and Jewish mamas out there. Nothing tastes as good as your mama's cooking - especially if your mama is Jewish! Flashing images of ruining this Jewish holiday for my boyfriend passed before my eyes: mushy matza ball stew instead of a soup and what not...

But there was no other choice but to work with what I've got. A visit to the only Kosher store in Finland, Zaafranco, provided me with a 1kg box of Aviv Matzot, an Osem Matza Ball mix and Israeli honey for the charoset. Bothering relatives, friends of my friends', and lots of googling for easy Passover recipes, I settled for the following dinner menu:

Seder Plate

**

Matza ball soup

**

Oven-baked chicken breast with crunchy Matza meal and almond coating
Oven-baked garlic and onion potatoes

**

Matza brittle
Almond biscuits

Topping this up with five bottles of wine (all of them Kosher for Passover), everything was set for my boyfriend on Friday night. The charoset, Matza brittle, almond biscuits and soup stock I prepared the day before, maror and all the rest on the same day.

And you know what? It all turned out great! I was able to participate by reading some Hebrew parts of the Haggadah. The charoset and maror were tasty, my boyfriend wanted a second round of both the soup and the chicken. The only part we didn't do so well with was the wine - just finished one bottle...

All in all, we had a nice, secluded dinner in great company, blending Jewish tradition in a little bit off-environment. I'm proud of myself that the food turned out to be a success. However, we both agreed that leshana haba'a be Israel because with more people and his mother's unbelievable food (I especially miss the liver), Passover tastes even better! :-)

PS. The next morning, my boyfriend indulged me with Matza brei, an omelet that will keep you feeling full until the evening!

Matza brei, topped with charoset and maror. Great combo, believe it or not!